The Iron Man Cometh!!!

Here he is in all his red and yellow glory on the cover of "Empire" magazine.

Wow.



Just. Wow.

This movie is soooooo gonna rock...

200th Post! Bonus: Canned Ramen Is Nigh!!!

What better way to celebrate this, the 200th dropping of the GreatMoose, than with the world-changing news that ramen noodles will now be offered in canned format! Of course, as we ALL know, ramen is the most perfect food ever developed, so I for one, am very excited. WARNING: Gratuitous ramen pic!



Bonus Bonus: Check out this guy's awesome recipe for grilled ramen! I'v definitely got to try that next time I fire up the ol' Weber.

UPDATE: Rebuild of Evangelion Trailer!!! For Real, This Time!

Ohhhh, The GreatMoose is a happy, happy moose today! The first real trailer for Rebuild of Evangelion 0:1 "You Are (Not) Alone" was shown recently in Japanese theaters! Someone was good enough to do a cell-cam recording of the trailer, and put it onto the 'Tube. Looks farking fantabulous!

UPDATE: Now a REAL, honest-to-goodness trailer! Really clears up a lot, and looks GREAT!



The similarities to the original are astounding, and even with the crappy image quality you can tell some major improvements have been made. Looks gorgeous! All the characters are present and accounted for and LOOK like they should, the first three angels are perfectly represented, and the plot appears to be identical. They even kept the original theme song "Fly Me To The Moon" (albeit a bit more upbeat). All in all, this is very cool, and it really looks like Gainax has done what all us Eva fans were hoping for. Can't wait till Sept. 1st!

Like A Playground, But Evil...

So MissSpeech, Justin, Joni, and myself were exploring the new Legends Crossing development the other day, when we came upon the playground. "Oh, that looks cool," we collectively thought. We ventured forth to avail ourselves of some of the features, when we noticed some things just didn't look quite right. In fact, it looked just plain wrong...

"What is this?" somebody whispered.

"I...I don't...know..." I replied.

"The horror, the horror..."

What is was, was the Lovecraftian design of the Kompan Galaxy playground "system". Seemingly dreamed up by the twisted mind of Great Cthulhu himself, the Galaxy is apparently some sort of Super Soldier training program/population control device, where only the fittest, most agile, most cunning, and most ruthless children will survive. You can view the propaganda video here (CONTENT WARNING: 7 minutes of PURE TERROR!!!).



From the "Argo", a slide with no rails, a zig-zag shape, and purposely designed unstable mounting, to the "Supernova", a tilted, rotating ring designed to fling less adept users to the ground with impunity, to the "Spica", which appears to be some sort of high-G training device, the Galaxy system is designed to breed truly unstoppable killing machines.




From their website:

Galaxy™ has challenging play events that captures the imagination of kids aged 5 to 12+. Only 20% will survive, weeding out the "less than desirable" recruits.

The system components can be customized to create unique constellations to fit any playground and budget, because we know that some militaries are better funded than others.

Inclusion in play enriches everyone's experience on the playground, and Galaxy™ offers access to children of all abilities. Many will enter, few will leave.

Durable materials are used in all components that stand up to the toughest conditions and use, so your recruits can train day and night without needing to provide maintenance for the facilites.

Galvanized steel and contrasting colors creates a look of rugged sophistication that older children find appealing, which helps to draw in officer candidates.

Galaxy's™ transparent design allows it to blend with any environment. You'll never see them coming!

Needless to say, we were...disturbed. Joni broke down sobbing, and MissSpeech pointed out that "it smells like sulfur here." And I noticed that the air temperature had dropped considerably. Yet, we were compelled to climb on this infernal machine, and we even attempted some of the training devices. Never have I felt fear such as that.

We managed to pull ourselves away after a bit without major injury, but I would hazard to say that none of us will ever look at children playing quite the same way again. I know I feel like they're watching me. Maybe they are...

Fear. Fear will keep the populace in line. Fear of our "children".

You know who else had a training program for children...



That's right. Hitler.

Rest well, citizens.

Kids. Is It Worth This?

You know, every time I think I'm ready to start a family, something like this comes up.

If dad goes for a walk with his daughter and holds her hand, apparently Virginia Department of Health officials wants you to pick up the phone and destroy his life by reporting him as a possible sexual abuser. I would've thought this article about this campaign was from the Onion or some satirical publication, but it's for real.

"The 'Stop It Now' campaign - just launched locally - will urge people to call a help line if they see an adult whom they suspect of having a sexual relationship with a child.

"'We want to teach them to trust their instinct and, if it doesn't feel right, take action,' Odor said."

"Ah, but is there a misleading billboard?" you ask.

Why, yes. Yes, there is.



Because as we all know, all men are sexual predators, and should never be trusted around ANYONE, especially their own children.

Makes me scared to have kids, you know?

-Hold you kid's hand? CPS might take her away
-Discipline child? CPS might take her away
-Sick child? CPS might take her away
-Homeschool the child? CPS might take her away

Land of the free? Not so much...

When 900 Years Old You Reach, Look As Good You Will Not, Hmmmm?

Oh, wait. Wrong movie. But the sentiment stands. What we have here is the first image of Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones from Indy 4. Looks WAAAAY better than i expected. Color me excited for this film, after all. Anyway, take a gander!

Have I Got A Thought-Provoker For YOU!

I'm torn about this. Here's the deal:

In short, the University of Dearborn-Michigan has decided to pay $25,000 to install two footbaths. Sounds odd, but OK on the surface. Here's the reason they feel the need to install them:

The muslim students have been washing thier feet in the bathroom sinks 5 times a day for prayer.

The university says that the baths are needed because the bathrooms are becoming very messy and dangerously slippery. Also, the baths will be available for all students to use.

The ACLU has decided that this does not violate the Constitution.

SO. Is this a double-standard on the ACLU's part? Is this perfectly reasonable? I'll admit, I've wavered back and forth on this. At first glance, I say "absolutely not, the university should not be putting up money to provide these baths, which are clearly used for religious purposes."

However, they are installing the baths so that the muslims don't have to wash their feet in the sink thereby spilling water on the floor making the bathroom a dangerous place for everyone else.

But then again, nobody else really uses footbaths, and muslims don't have a NON-religious use for them. Washing your feet 5 times a day is a religious act, and one which is not performed in public by 99.9% of non-muslims.

Here's the solution: Ban washing feet in the school's sinks. Period. End of story. Same rules for everybody. What could be more fair than that?

The problem is, it is very clear that the ban would be seen as animosity towards a single religious group. You can't do that. You'd get sued.

Amazing how foot washing is religious speech when you forbid it, but a secular hygine issue when you spend tax dollars to facilitate it.

Discuss.

Mike Nifong: Giant Piece of Human Debris

If you didn't know, Mike Nifong, the prosecutor in the Duke "not a rape" case, is on trial right now for violating all kinds of Bar ethics and other stuff. KC Johnson has been all over this since day one, and has some AWESOME recaps of the past few days. Reade Seligman's testimony is especially heartbreaking, as he describes what it was like to have to tell his mom and girlfriend that he was being charged with raping a stripper.

Anyway, the shocker for today is, Mike Nifong, Douchbag for Great Justice, resigns as DA on the stand, while crying like a little girl. Hopefully, he'll still get sued for everything he's got. I highly recommend reading the transcripts for the past few days. It's absolutely frightening how a prosecuter was able to manipulate the system and charge 3 boys with a crime that didn't even happen.

THIS Is Why We Have The Second Amendment

This story just reinforces my belief in the Second Amendment. Short version of the story is an undercover cop initiates a road rage incident against a guy driving in his car with his wife and 2 toddlers. Cop winds up blocking the guy in with car, and approaches the guy's WIFE with his weapon drawn, never having identified himself as a cop. Guy draws his own weapon and shoots the cop in both legs and the gun arm from across the passenger seat! That's some mighty fine shootin' there, son. Anyway, cop lives, guy gets released without charges. Guy's a hero for protecting his family from an overaggressive cop with an inflated sense of power.

You know, normally I support the police; they have an incredibly tough job, with very little thanks. But there's so many stories of cops WAAAAY overstepping thier bounds that sometimes it's nice to read a story where somebody reminds the police that they do NOT rule us peons. Anyway, just wanted to share.

I Have A New Hero: Jeff Sessions, The Man Who Killed The Immigation Bill

Sessions is The Man. His patience, persistence, and sheer MANLINESS has killed (at least for now) the horribly stupid immigration bill. He identified the 20 loopholes that made this bill so farking bad. I highly encourage you to read them as they mkae clear why so many conservative are against this bill. In honor of Mr. Sessions, Ace has a list of "cool facts" about him. EXTREMELY funny, but watch out for explicit language. The cool thing is, Ace has said that he's going to personally send the list to Mr. Sessions, as a gesture of support. That's pretty cool. Some of my favorites:

Jeff Sessions is so powerful, he once caused Trent Lott's hair to move.

Senator sessions once killed a man with a paperclip.
It took several weeks, but the man eventually succumbed to his wounds.
Sessions is patient and evil, like a crocodile armed with a paperclip.

There was a fight in the Alabama Senate today. What were the two state senators fighting over? Which one of them Jeff Sessions likes better.

Jeff Sessions' tears could bring Paul "Bear" Bryant back from the dead. But Jeff Sessions just plain refuses to cry.

Jack Baur wishes he was Jeff Sessions...

Jeff Sessions is actually over 300 years old. He is immune to the aging process thanks to a steady diet of roofing tacks, lightning, and treasonous congressmen. When asked about his unusual, life-extending diet, he replied "because my work here is not yet complete."

Jeff Sessions' alarm clock only displays two times: when he wakes up it's "Ass Kicking Time" and when he goes to bed it's "Preparing for Ass Kicking Time".

Sessions is indeed 300 years old. After the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor Jeff Sessions retaliated by flying several kamikaze missions against Japanese naval forces. He flew a P-38 Lightning fighter plane into a Japanese battleship and then swam back to shore where he got another plane and flew into another battleship this time with his arm out the window giving them the one-finger salute.

This one is for Doc:

You might have missed the Hollywood biopic of Jeff Sessions' life--which is understandable; with a title like Army of Darkness, it's not obvious what it was about.

And this one is for Justin:

Jeff Sessions won the Tallegeda 500 in 5 consecutive years, but his victories have not been recognized by NASCAR because he was jogging.

We still have heroes, it seems.

OK, one more:

Jeff Sessions tattooed his fists with the names "Truth" and "Justice".
You don't want to know what he tattooed with "The American Way".

Finally! Part 3 Of My AMV Series Is Complete!

Took me for-farking-ever to finish, but it's finally done. After a much too long delay, here is the final installment in my Children of Evangelion series. This video is of Shinji Ikari. This was more difficult than the others, as Shinji is so integral to the story that any story about him must include the other characters. I did what I could to show how he is central to Asuka and Rei's (and Misato too, of course) stories, and how it all revolves around him. Shinji, as much as he tries to avoid it, is the "hero" of NGE. Sure, he's a whiny dork, but his heart is in the right place. He's really pretty cool when you get down to it. Anyway, I tried a few new techniques this time, I hope it looks OK.

The song is "Open Your Eyes" by Alter Bridge, and it features what is quite possibly one of the best guitar solos ever recorded. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. My next video will be quite a bit different, not so action oriented, and quite a bit more mellow (I think). Let me know what you think!

Sort of content warning: Possibly disturbing images, religious images. It is, after all, about the end of the world. Cheers!



Here's the other parts:
Part 1 - Rei
Part 2 - Asuka

Really Sweet Time Waster

Found this on the interweb tubes. Absolutely cool, a little scary, and garaunteed to make you say "Wow." They made this image where you just keep zooming in forever (well, almost). Just click and drag your mouse either up or down to zoom in or out.

Wow. Now THAT'S How To Do An AMV

Just came across this on the 'Tube, and WOW. My meager attempts an producing an AMV is NOTHING like this. Fan-TAST-ic work! Very moving, makes me a little teary-eyed. Anime is FLCL (one of the greats), song is Scientist by Coldplay (who I used to hate, but now I'm rethinking that position.)

And The Lord Did Smile Upon The GreatMoose...

Oh frabjous day! Callou Callay, he chortled in his joy! Fred Thomspon is running for President!


Suck it, Dems! Wha'choo got now, Hillary?

You Too Can Be Big Hit At Parties, Thanks To GSK!

Apparently, GlaxoSmithKline's new diet drug has a side effect that should be a big hit at parties, the office, our when you're just lying around! Anal leakage!

Of course, GSK is a caring, compassionate drug company, so they offer this helpful but of advice:

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of your treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work. "

Thanks, GSK!