England Is Broken

Recently, UKTV ran a poll on the most asinine laws in the UK. Here's the results, with the top 10 dumbest international laws added at the end.

The UK's top 10 most ridiculous British laws were listed as:


1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)--One wonders how you would enforce this.

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down (7%)--We are not amused.

3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%)--This makes perfect sense to the GreatMoose, as who else would NEED to be topless in Liverpool?

4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned(5%)--Shouldn't that be banned, well, every day?

5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter (4%)--Not unreasonable, sometimes you GOT to go.

6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (4%)--The GreatMoose finds this one particularly amusing, as clearly there's a reason for the constable's headware to be mentioned.

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)Ah, the Queen's sporting a "whale tail". I think I'm sad now.

8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)Crayon's are good food.

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour--Pbbbbtt! I'll wear my armour anywhere I feel like it!

10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%)--WHAT?! It's not legal to murder a Scotsman no matter what? Excuse me, I have to go run an errand...



The top 10 bizarre foreign laws as voted by those polled:


1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk (9%)As it should be. No means no.
2. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation (8%)That's no..er...nevermind.

3. A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror (7%)--Why does that not suprise me?

4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm (6%)Now THAT'S a good law. Friggin' Swiss...

5. It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle in Alabama (6%)Do they have cars in Alabama?

6. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed (6%)I can see how that would be a problem.

7. Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth (6%)Barefoot and pregnant, baby...

8. In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits (5%)I LOL'd

9. There is no age of consent in Japan (5%)Ummm, so all sex is rape, or am I reading that wrong?

10. In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon (4%)Le couchon, le couchon!

For Your Halloween: Zombies Are, In Fact, Real

Just to brighten what I find to be one of the most overblown days of the year, I thought I'd post about everybody's favorite shambling menace, zombies. Were you aware that technically zombies are REAL and can be created? No? Well, allow the GreatMoose to enlighten you! Zombies can be created via a process involving the victim being slipped a poison called tetrodotoxin, which is extracted from the livers of pufferfish. It essentially drops all of the victim's biological processes to an unmeasurable state, making them appear to be dead.

...particular case of Wilfred Doricent,3 an adolescent schoolboy from a small village in Haiti. One day, Wilfred became terribly ill. He experienced dramatic convulsions, his body had swelled tremendously, and his eyes had turned yellow. Eight days later, Wilfred appeared to have died. This was confirmed by not only the family and family friends present but also by the local medical doctor who could detect no vital signs. Wilfred’s body appeared to show bloating due to rigor mortis and gave off the foul stench of death and rot. He was buried soon thereafter.

Some time afterward, the weekly village cockfight was interrupted as an incognizant figure appeared. The villagers were shocked as they gazed upon the exact likeness of Wilfred. The person was indeed Wilfred, as his family verified by noting scars from old injuries and other such details. Wilfred, however, had lost his memory and was unable to speak or comprehend anything that was said to him. His family had to keep him in shackles so that he wouldn’t harm himself in his incoherent state...

...This provides an explanation for how Wilfred could have been made to seem dead, even under the examination of a doctor. However, we have already said that the TTX paralysis was unlikely to have affected his brain. How does one account for Wilfred’s comatose mental state? The answer is oxygen deprivation. Wilfred was buried in a coffin in which relatively little air could have been trapped. Wilfred’s story probably goes something like this: slowly, the air in Wilfred’s coffin began to run out so that, by the time he snapped out of his TTX-induced paralysis, he had already suffered some degree of brain damage. At that point, his survival instincts kicked in, and he managed to dig himself out of his grave—graves tend to be shallow in Haiti. He probably wandered around for some time before ending up back at the village. This topic was the subject of a horror film, The Serpent and the Rainbow.

Neuropsychiatrist Dr. Roger Mallory, of the Haitian Medical Society, conducted an MRI of zombiefied Wilfred’s brain. He and his colleagues found lesions of the type normally associated with oxygen starvation. It would seem that zombiefication is nothing more then a skillful act of poisoning. The bodily functions of the poisoned person suspend so that he appears dead. After he is buried alive, lack of oxygen damages the brain. If the person is unburied before he really dies from suffocation, he will appear as a soulless creature (“zombie”), as he has lost what makes him human: the thinking processes of the brain.

The good news is it's illegal to create a zombie in Haiti!

Of course, the possiblity always exists for a plague of the shambling undead to be unleased, so it's good to be prepared. I encourge everyone to have a copy of the incredibly useful Zombie Survival Guide, and if you have the means, one of these:



Sleep tight.

BRAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS!!!

UPDATED!!! I Am Legend Trailer and Poster!

Ohmanohmanohman! I have been waiting for this movie for ages. I read (and loved) the book in high school, and enjoyed Charlton Heston's Omega Man version. But it needs an update. And so, Will Smith (one of the few ACTUAL movie stars we have today) presents us with this: I Am Legend.(Click for trailer) (Updated with a MUCH better trailer)

Here's the sweet poster:

(click to embiggen)

In case you aren't aware of the story, it concerns the last man left alive on earth after an "incident", and the struggles (and madness) he goes through after learning he isn't exactly alone. And the title of the book (and movie) is an extremely important plot point. I can't wait!


"Come out, Neville..."

The Scariest (And Most AWESOME) List On The Intertubes

retroCRUSH has recompiled the 100 Scariest Movie Scenes Of All Time, and made it into a great list, complete with Youtube clips and scene explanations. Most of the lists like this you see, you have to do the work yourself to find the scenes they're talking about. rC has done all the work for you, and it's teh awesomes! Just click on the movie on the left side of the page, and it'll display the explanation and clip for you. Be warned, there's more pop-ups than a porn site (from what I've heard, you know), but it's worth it. There's also some real surprised on there (like To Kill A Mockingbird and Dumbo), but once you've read the explanation, you'll understand why they included it in the list, and it really shows that they've done their homework. Anyway, enjoy!

Note for MissSpeech: Misery's on there, too!

Now THAT'S A Movie Poster

I am sooooo stoked for this movie. In case you've been living under a rock for the past several months, you should know that Stallone is bringing John Rambo back to the big screen. This time the plot centers around John having to rescue some captured Christian missionaries/aid workers that have been taken hostage in Burma. A trailer is here (WARNING: VERY graphic, but buttloads of awesome)

Anyway, the official one sheet poster has been released, and it's all kinds of badness:



Simple, attention grabbing, and tells a story. Just about a perfect poster.

The Coolest Website You'll See Today

Have you ever wondered what tasty treat you might get if you were flying a different airline than the one you were on? Ever wonder what you get for the $4-20 they charge now for meals on airlines? Well wonder no more! Airline Meals answers all your questions! Simply click on the airline you're curious about, and scroll around and see what the different airlines offer (including pics!) It's really pretty cool. Air Japan's meals were making my mouth water...

It Starts (And Ends) Tonight...

The end of the world is nigh. Really. ABC's Cavemen premiers tonight. You know, the sitcom based off the actually pretty funny Geico commercials. It airs first on the East coast, and The GreatMoose predicts that for the first time in history, a television show will be cancelled before it reaches the west coast.

I just had a thought: what if it's all a gimmick by Geico? What if it does indeed get cancelled by the first commercial break, and then we start seeing ads with the cavemen in therapy because thier show got cancelled? Hmmm....

Did I Just Become A Carrie Underwood Fan?! Help The GreatMoose!

So there I was, trolling the 'tube for some early 90's nostalgia, and lo, did I happen across one of my favorite songs from high school, Skid Row's I Remember You. The catch: it was being performed live by CARRIE UNDERWOOD! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?! So, I gave it a listen, and dad gum if I wasn't impressed. It's good. I mean REALLY good. She still can't belt it quite like Sebastian Bach did, but dang if she doesn't get close. Apparently, Bach liked it so much he THANKED her on his blog for covering it. I may just have to check out more of her music. Anyhoo, here it is (crappy cellphone vid warning, but the sound quality is decent.)



The rock. She has it.

Wanna Bake Your Noodle?

The official trailer for Richard Kelly's Southland Tales is out, and it's exactly as weird as I had hoped it would be. I can't really explain what it's about, but it's got The Rock, and that's really all you need to know. From the 'Tube:



How awesome is that?

A Quick Note

I'll be trying out some new layout sheets and widgets and so forth for the blog over the next few weeks, so let me know if you see anything you like or don't like. Expect the sidebars and stuff to be funked up for a while. Deal with it. :)

What A Man Should Know

I came across an article yesterday that got me thinking. It was an article in Popular Mechanics, and it was a list of 25 things every man should know. Thier list is OK, but it reads more like "25 things a nerd should know." Here's the list:

I've bolded the ones I don't think belong, and italicized my replacements

1. Patch a radiator hose
2. Protect your computer Cook a full dinner
3. Rescue a boater who as capsized
4. Frame a wall
5. Retouch digital photos Change out a beer keg on a tap
6. Back up a trailer
7. Build a campfire
8. Fix a dead outlet
9. Navigate with a map and compass
10. Use a torque wrench
11. Sharpen a knife
12. Perform CPR
13. Fillet a fish
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid
15. Get a car unstuck
16. Back up data
17. Paint a room
18. Mix concrete
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle How to strip and clean any firearm
20. Change oil and filter
21. Hook up an HDTV Throw a punch
22. Bleed brakes
23. Paddle a canoe
24. Fix a bike flat
25. Extend your wireless network Take a punch

And being the GreatMoose, I feel I should a few more things that are extremely important for any man to know:

26. Change a diaper
27. Change a tire
28. Drive a stick
29. Rip one guy's spine out of his body, with the skull still attached, and beat the other guy to death with it
30. Defend your family against the invading zombie hordes

And lastly:

Know what is best in life: (To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women)


So what are some other things every man should know?

Come Friends! Soak In The Awesome!

The official trailer for Iron Man has been released! It's also hit the airwaves (saw it Nick at Nite), and Great Odin's Raven is it PERFECT! It hits all the right notes, from Stark's suave arrogance, to the clunkiness of the first versions of the Iron Man armor. I can't wait!

Make You Wanna Smack Yo' Mama

I just had what was quite possibly the best meal I have ever had. A brief history: I was recently introduced to yet another FANTASTIC hole-in-the-wall Mexican food joint here in Waco, Taqueria Mexicano #8 (no idea where the first 7 are, but whatever). Looks like a dump from the outside (as any good Mexican food place should), but on the inside is a wonderland of culinary delights. Best Mexican I have had, period. And I'm a life-long Texas resident, and we know our Mexican (not to mention the different between Tex-Mex and Mexican).

Anyway, this was my second experience at this restaurant, and has made me lifelong customer. I ordered two Tacos Al Pastor (marinated pork soft tacos) off their wonderful (and CHEAP!) a-la-cart menu. The pork is very, VERY thinly sliced and marinated (apparently in angel tears), and served on corn or flour tortillas (GreatMoose's note: pork should ALWAYS be served on CORN tortillas), topped with cilantro, onions, and limes. Squeeze the lime over the pork, add a dash of salt, and you have the best tacos on the whole freakin' planet. Oh, and they're only $1.40 a piece!


To finish of this perfection of the taco, my friend, coworker, and resident latino Jesse suggested I get a marzipan. Now, I've had marzipan before, but it was NOTHING like this. This was essentially finely crushed peanuts and confectioners sugar, mashed into a little disc. And it was UNBELIEVABLE.



So, if you need a good Mexican place to take some out-of-town friends, or just need something GOOD to eat, go to Taqueria Mexicano #8 in Waco (or could actually be in Bellmead, not sure), and feed your face. You will NOT regret it.

Wanna Be A Pirate? Vote For Ron Paul!

Coolest freakin' job in the world!

Hugh Hewitt was interviewing Ron Paul yesterday and asked him about his proposal to issue Letters of Marque and Reprisal in order to hunt down Bin Laden if he's elected president. Essentially, you'd get to be a privateer hunting down Bin Laden on your own as a private citizen. THAT is very cool.

Always wanted to wear an eye-patch.

It Has Begun!

Evangelion 1.0 : You Are (Not) Alone was released in Japan today! I can't tell you how excited I am about this. This first of four new movies covers the first 6 episodes of the TV series, and crams it into 90 minutes, with all new animation, sound, and CG. Of course, today's release is in Japanese only (which the GreatMoose has not mastered. Yet.), but soon there should be a fansubbed version available. The good news is, there's already a few English language reviews out there, and while short, they shed a little light on the enigma that has been these new movies. From Heisei Democracy:

With Hideaki Anno’s proclamation back in February that the new Rebuild of Evangelion movies would be all things to all people, present a panacea to the ills of a languishing anime industry, and sate old fans while bringing new ones into the fold, curiosity was high as I entered the theater this morning. Would the new Evangelion surpass the original, managing to heave its ponderous bulk above the weight of twelve years of mainstream merchandising - or would the temptation to stick an IV into the goose laying golden eggs prove to be too strong? Signs point to morbidly obese poultry…

Rei from the new movie

I'll post my own review as soon as I can get a hold of subtitled version.

UPDATE: And now AICN has a great review up.