The GreatMoose Reviews The Movies!

I'm trying to start a new semi-regular section of this blog, a piece where I review movies (usually on DVD) for my reader(s). I know sometimes it's hard to pick a movie when you're at the video store and staring blankly at the wall of new releases, especially if you're with your significant other, as they will invariably wish to view something else. SO, I will offer up my opinions and recommendations, in the hopes of staving of a disheartening experience at the video store.

MissSpeech and I rented a Will Ferrel movie called Stranger Than Fiction tonight, and in short, it was INCREDIBLE. It's certainly not your typical Ferrel movie, as it's not really a comedy (although it IS extremely funny at times), it's more along the lines of The Truman Show in tone (at least to a certain extent).

The movie is about an IRS auditor named Harold Crick (Will Ferrel), who begins to a hear a voice that appears to be narrating his life. It seems inoccent (if a bit strange) until the voice mentions his imminent death. This causes Harold to try to determine the source of the voice, and what is really going on.

The whole premise could have been used as a joke, but thankfully the film goes where such an idea should lead, into some pretty serious territory, and has a very poignant message at the send.

It's very funny, very emotional, and ultimately life-affirming. Even MissSpeech, who tends to fall asleep at the drop of hat these days (due to her 'condition'), stayed awake and alert through the whole thing. You really are drawn into trying to figure out what is happening the poor Harold. It's highly recommended (even has a 73% Fresh rating on RottenTomatos.com). Check it out when you get a chance, you won't regret it.

GreatMoose rating: 4.5 (possibly 5) Antlers

Runaways Coming To The Big Screen!

Now THIS is seriously cool news. Runaways is one of the best comics written today, with extremely relateable characters and very cool plotlines.

As opposed to other Marvel characters getting the silver screen treatment, such as the Hulk and Spider-Man -- who have been around since the 1960s and are pop-culture fixtures -- the heroes in "Runaways" are relatively new, with the comic series launching in 2002.

"Runaways" follows a group of teenagers who find that some family secrets are bigger than others when they discover their parents are actually super-villains. Running away from their homes, the teens band together and begin a journey of discovery, both of their parents' origins and of their own inherited powers, while trying to make up for the evil done by their folks.

It's got my favorite comic character, Molly Hayes (aka Bruiser, Princess Powerful), whose mom is a Speech Therapist (an evil one, but what ya gonna do).



She's great in that when she uses her power (super-strength), she gets really tired afterward and falls asleep. It's great.

This is probably my favorite pic of Molly, standing in front of Frank Castle (The Punisher), cause she could totally mess his stuff up.



I really need to pick up the colletions of the series. If you haven't read it (or even you don't read comics), you're really missing out. It's really good stuff. I wonder who'll they'll get to play the crew...

It's Finally Happening

They're making a movie about the Branch Davidians.

"Waco" centers on the 1993 stand-off at Waco, Texas, when the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives attempted to arrest David Koresh, leader of the Branch Davidian cult. Four ATF agents, Koresh and 76 of his followers died.

Of course, as any Central Texan knows, it didn't actually happen IN Waco, but whatever. I gotta say, my views on it have changed almost 180 degrees from when it first happened. At the time, I was a freshman in high school, and figured the government wouldn't be assaulting that place if they didn't have a good reason. Now, hindsight is 20/20, but it sure looks like none of this should have ever happened.

The ATF went in ostensibly looking for "illegal weapons", but it turns out that none of the weapons were, in fact illegal.

Why didn't they just arrest Koresh when he went for his morning run (like he did every day)?

Was it really necessary for a freaking stand-off?

I've become much more jaded vis-a-vis the government in my old age. This'll be interesting.

Obama Draws A Whole Mess O' Folks

At rally this weekend in Oregon, St. Obama The Hopeful drew 75,000 worshippers and acolytes, bringing them his hopeful message of hopefully changing hope, with a side order of hope and change.

He then promptly fed them all with a open box of pop-tarts and a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper. Amen.

Sweet new Hellboy 2 Poster!

This thing is freakin' cool.



I love me some Hellboy. He's a fantastic character. The first movie, while flawed, was a thoroughly enjoyable introduction to the character and his world. It had all off-beat humor and creepiness of the comic, and told a pretty simple but effective story. It's also one of the most "Christian" movies to come out in a long time. While it's never explicitly stated that Hellboy is a christian, he DOES believe in God, and works in His service against Satan. It's a pretty cool idea. And it's great to see Ron Perlman getting to be the star of a film again. He's absolutely perfect for Hellboy. I can't wait to catch the new installment.

"Believe it or not, he's the good guy." That's just great!

Quote Of The Day

"You know what I pray for? For the strength to change the things that I can, for the inability to accept the things that I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference."

- Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes


There really is no debate. Calvin & Hobbes: Greatest comic ever.

Wow, Even SNL Has Bailed On Hill-Dog

This weekend's Saturday Night Live NAILED it. It would have been funny, if it wasn't EXACTLY true. You could even hear the audience's laughter die off as they realized it was true. Check it out:

2 Outrageously Cool Hancock Trailers

If you didn't know, Hancock is Will Smith's new movie. He plays, well, he plays a bum. An alcholic, homeless "superhero" bum. Sort of. It looks like an absolute riot. The first trailer is actually my favorite, but the second is probably the best. Lemme know if you're pumped for this!





"Do I have permission to touch your body?!"
"YEEESS!!"
"It's not sexual!"

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Will Smith is just about the only TRUE movie star we have today. He is only actor I can say that most people will go see no matter what movie he's in. That's how movies used to be, you know. You went for the actor first, then the story. Smith is that guy.

I like.

Cthulhu Is Real

I'll just come right out and say it: The End Is Near.

It weighs 495 kilograms (1,090 pounds), has eyes the size of dinner plates and is estimated at up to 10 metres (33 feet) long.

But that may be relatively small, scientists say after initial examination, suggesting other colossal squid (Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni) under the chilly Antarctic waters might grow much larger.

So, a 50 foot squid has suckers approximately 4 inches in diameter, at the base of it's tentacles. This is a creature with an eyeball that has a diameter of one foot.

They have found Sperm Whale carcasses with sucker scars of 16 inches in diameter,
implying a squid that is 200 feet long with an eyeball 4 feet in diameter.

Great Jumpin' Mohammed! Kill it with Fire!!!

A picture of said beastie:



OK, not really, but it's getting closer...

So, Apparently We're All Pedos

So you've probably heard of Miley Montana, er... Hannah Cyrus, er... Billy Ray Von Mullet's daughter's somewhat questionable decision to have a photoshoot in Vanity Fair. Hoopedy-doo. What you may not know is so many people went to VanityFair.com to look at the photos, that VanityFair's webserver crashed, and that because of that, America is filled with pedophiles. And of course, nobody cares. I give you the thought process here:

Media: In case you didn't know, Vanity Fair has slightly risque pictures of Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus. She's only fifteen, it's terrible.

Public: Um... okay whatever.

Media: They're terrible. Racy, filthy pictures. She's only fifteen and you can see her bare back. In Vanity Fair.

Public: We have more important things to worry about.

Media: These pictures are disgraceful. No one should look at them. Here are what they look like, in full-screen on your television. You can see these pictures at VanityFair.com or in this month's issue on newsstands today, but don't because they pictures are terrible.

Public: Well, now we're just curious.

Media: You people are pedophiles! Looking at these sexual pictures of a fifteen-year-old on VanityFair.com and in the magazine on newsstands now. What has society come to that people are so obsessed with the actions of celebrities. She's only fifteen, leave her alone. Don't look at the picture we're showing to the left of the anchorperson's head right now. Don't look at it! Society is coming to a screeching halt! You should all be ashamed for looking at these shameful pictures in this month's issue of Vanity Fair, on newsstands today or on VanityFair.com. Shame!

Manufactured outrage, much? Raise your hand if you give a flying fart in the wind about any of this. That's what I thought.

UPDATED: Never Say Never

Well, I'd said I wasn't going to do any more Evangelion videos (at least, not for a VERY long time), but due to several requests, I have made an additional video to go along with the previous 3-part series I'd made.

This one concerns Misato, the childrens' guardian and immediate supervisor. She's a pretty cool character. I hadn't orignally planned to due a 4th Eva video, but due to the requests, and finally finding an appropriate Alter Bridge song, I decided to go ahead. I hope this is good enough for those that requested it. Enjoy!



Here's the original 3 parts:

Part 1 - Rei
Part 2 - Asuka
Part 3 - Shinji

Enjoy, and let me know what you think. I promise the next one will be FLCL. I think. Oh, and it certainly WON'T be Alter Bridge. For reals.

EDITOR'S NOTE: You know, for some reason, I keep watching this one over and over, and I think this may be my favorite one I've made so far (except for MissSpeech's, natch). It's growing on me...

Put On Your Rain Coat, The BS Is A Comin' Down

Warning: Parenthesis and snark-intensive content ahead. Small children should probably be sedated.

So by now, I assume the majority of my readers (both of you) have heard of the Yale (I think you all know how I feel about Yale) "Art Student" (I think you all know how I feel about art students) who decided to create "art" by artificially insemenating herself with a turkey-baster (I think you all know how I feel about turkey), and then ingesting aborto-facilitating herbs on order to induce miscarriages. Several times. Like a BUNCH of times. Aside from the warped depravity that this girl has shown, and the disgusting nature of her "art" (which we can discuss any time), she has also decided to publish what I can only term as a miscarriage of the English language explaining herself. It resides here: I recommend you attempt to read it, but be sure to wear boots and a helmet, for the BS is raining down. And this is what we will discuss now.

According to her article, the reason she did this was

"to destabilize the locus of that authorial act, and in doing so, reclaim it from the heteronormative structures that seek to naturalize it..."

Translation: "Look at me, I'm an Attention Whore". You will notice that here she is implying that her organs (in this case, the uterus), can be used for other things besides childbirth; apparently the uterus is also useful as a paintbrush. Who knew? I wonder if the uterus could also file my taxes for me? Or perhaps it could be employed to make tasty waffles?

It creates an ambiguity that isolates the locus of ontology to an act of readership. An intentional ambiguity pervades both the act and the objects I produced in relation to it. The performance exists only as I chose to represent it. For me, the most poignant aspect of this representation — the part most meaningful in terms of its political agenda (and, incidentally, the aspect that has not been discussed thus far) — is the impossibility of accurately identifying the resulting blood. Because the miscarriages coincide with the expected date of menstruation (the 28th day of my cycle), it remains ambiguous whether the there was ever a fertilized ovum or not. The reality of the pregnancy, both for myself and for the audience, is a matter of reading.

Ergo, when I apply a significant amount of force to the musclature in my righmost lower appendage, and apply said force in a pendulumic motion relative to Ms. Shvarts' posterior, it will be in the purview of the assmebled viewership to determine if I have, in fact, kicked her squarely in the @$$, or simply provided a resting place for my foot.

Just as it is a myth that women are “meant” to be feminine and men masculine,

Having seen your picture, I can see how you could be confused.

it is a myth that ovaries and a uterus are “meant” to birth a child.

True. As mentioned before, they can also be used to provide tax-preperation advice and delicious waffles.

When considering my own bodily form, I recognize its potential as extending beyond its ability to participate in a normative function. While my organs are capable of engaging with the narrative of reproduction...

More than likely not, sweetheart. That tends to happen when you MAKE YOURSELF HAVE REPEATED MISCARRIAGES. Allah preserve us that she should ever
reproduce.

the realm of capability extends beyond the bounds of that specific narrative chain. These organs can do other things, can have other purposes, and it is the prerogative of every individual to acknowledge and explore this wide realm of capability.

I look forward to seeing what other talents my various organs have. While my colon is shiftless and lazy, my left buttcheek has a 9-5 job at Office Depot.

Art truly has made the world a better place.

Oh, and lest you think there is no hope for Yale, check out this comment from the article:

I'm a Yale Professor. I give Shvartz an "A" for pretentious nonsense. I
give her advisor an "F" for trying to teach her to be anything other than a
clone of the advisor's silly posing. I give the Yale administration an "F" for
running scared from the real story, which is the fact that students at Yale can
fall into majors where they learn nothing other than the ability to parrot
incomprehensible crap.

Word up, professor dude. Word up.

Sky Crawlers Just Got Even Cooler!

Turns out, it'll ALSO be a Wii game!



Looks like I'll have to get the Wii FreeLoader disc so I can play it (cause it'll probably be japan-only, like all the good games).

Pizza Hut Driver Fired For Defending Himself

This is getting out of hand. This is not the first time Pizza Hut has done this, but after the backlash from last time, you'd think they'd learn thier lesson. Apparently not.

Short version of the story: This piece of human debris holds a gun to the driver's head, demanding money. Driver shoots the debris three times, and the guy runs away (and is later arrested). Driver then gets fired from his job because, even though he has a valid concealed carry permit, it's against Pizza Hut "policy" to carry a weapon.

A Republican state lawmaker called on Iowans Friday to boycott Pizza Hut restaurants after the company fired a Des Moines delivery driver who shot an armed robber last month. Apparently, Pizza Hut would prefer that thier drivers be shot by muggers. A state senator said this:

"You tell me any Iowan that was in his situation, that had a gun put to his head, how they would've reacted differently," state Sen. Brad Zaun of Urbandale said. "I think it's the wrong decision by Pizza Hut and I will not be buying any more Pizza Hut products."

Now, boycotts and protests aren’t really the GreatMoose's bag. Probably because inside of me beats the heart of a lazy man. The thought of taking a day to go anywhere and carry a sign about anything makes my skin crawl. But, I will gladly avoid purchasing Pizza Hut's "pizza", which as it turns out, I was doing anyway. Long live Rosati's!

Thought question for the day: Is it ok for companies to maintain policies that are in direct contravention with an individual's constitutional rights?

This is actually a bit more nuanced (oh, how I hate that word) than it seems at first. Many places of business forbid the carrying of weapons, even if the person has a license, ie. schools, universities, goverment buildings, etc..., which is debatable, but this guy was IN HIS OWN CAR. Which according to "Castle Doctrine", means you are free to defend yourself by any means necessary. So, he wasn't on Pizza Hut property, but he was on Pizza Hut business. My own veiw is that PH is totally wrong here, and they shouldn't have fired the guy (and should repeal that stupid policy). What do you think?

The Dumbest Protestor In The History Of Mankind

Ahem. Perhaps you should have paid attention in history class, dumb@$$.